Being a man is a dangerous thing in today's world. Whereas it would be a natural thing of a twenty-year old 30-40 years ago to say of oneself, in this day and age it feels like something one ought to be ashamed to admit. Most of all, perhaps, it is because it is a word that has gone from having a rather narrow denotation to become the opposite: a mess of connotations, a metaphore for a jumbled set of virtues that are perhaps more negative than positive.
Consequently, as the notions of masculinity have changed, so have the sources of inspiration that whole generations of young men have looked towards for morality, ethics and subsequently the very basis for identity. And if these virtues and values are considered negative, baffoonish, childish and immature, what does that do to you?
I still feel like I'm in my "formative" years, although I reach 30 in May. Like I mentioned, it wasn't long ago when one would be thoroughly established in adulthood by that age. Adulthood seems to me like something to push forward, something to be dealt with when there's at last no way out. For our fathers, it was the other way around; one yearned for the day when one would be a man. The ideals were good, but ultimately failed to develop what Aristotle called the golden middle path. In the quest for glory it was forgotten that another set of values are needed to deal with the closer things: how to be endearing, loving, patient and respectful as partner, husband, father, son, neighbour, etc.
How can one raise a man when one does not feel like one? A lot has been written about the virtues a man can and should possess. For me, there really are just a few virtues that are worth attaining by a regular, imperfect person of the male persuasion today: learn to take responsibility for yourself, be honorable, be sympathetic towards the suffering of others, never stop being curious and playful, always ponder life and the many shades of gray that exists between what is thought to be right and what is thought to be wrong, stand up for those beliefs no matter what and spend time with your family (because a man who does not spend time with his family can never be a real man).
After careful consideration and in no particular order:
1. President Barack Obama
I feel even more strongly about this after watching his inauguration-speech. I always envied the generation that grew up with JFK. Kennedy's ideals, speeches, I've read almost everything there is to know about him. I mean, c'mon he cheated on one of the most stylish women of the time with one of the most stylish women of the time! He dressed in way that has influence even today. Cynically, I put his enduring influence and legacy down to myth-making of history, but after today I understand. The man makes the myth, not the other way around. Not only can young men in America and the world look up to the ideals of Obama's political vision, but also draw inspiration from how he presents himself as a father, husband and community leader.
"Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential."
2. Robert Kennedy
"Few will have the greatness to bend history; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation ... It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is thus shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance."
Obama's similarities to RFK are many, in fact, for me Obama embodies the political legacy of Robert Kennedy. Who knows what legacy he would have left if allowed to live.
3. Umberto Eco
Eco is an Italian academic in medieval history and Semiotics, a philosopher, literary critic and author. As a Communications graduate, I have read with great interest and admiration his academic work but it is through his fiction that I have taken him to heart. He speaks and writes 8 languages fluently and is an honorary professor at numerable institutions. He and scholars like Roland Barthes and Charles Pierce led me to other great minds like Derrida and most of all Foucault, who taught me about the dynamics of power and society.
"Perhaps the mission of those who love mankind is to make people laugh at the truth, to make truth laugh, because the only truth lies in learning to free ourselves from insane passion for the truth."
4. Douglas Adams
DNA as he is called by his fans, is the author of the famous trilogy of Five "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy," and was also a noted humanist (and atheist, also). When I was 17 I bought the fivebook-gigantic volume of Hitchhiker's and I must have re-read it about a hundred times. Adams taught me about imagination and the power of comedy.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
5. Friedrich Nietzsche
The only philosopher that has had a profound impact on how I view the world. He went completely bonkers in the end, and was chaos personified. Perhaps that is why I like him so much. He had no system of philosophical thought, instead he wrote allegorical stories with more punchlines than a Seinfeld episode, but he was passionate, and few thoughts and writings have influenced the 20th Century in such a profound way as him.
“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”
6. Jon Stewart
What can one say about Jon Stewart that hasn't already been said. Not only is he funny, but has an incredibly sharp wit and is one of the most sensible and respected people in entertainment I know of.
It makes me fell safe knowing that there are people in American entertainment like Stewart and Colbert. It's ironic aswell that it took a comedyshow to point out the obvious lack of substance in a presidency.
"Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering. Shoot."
7. Terje Haakonsen
Terje has the life I always wanted to lead. He's intelligent, humble, hard working and passionate. He's the perfect icon for the sport of snowboarding and is still revered even to this day. Many people put Haaken on the same pedestal as Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods, and so do I.
8. "President" Josiah Bartlet
Before Obama came along, the ficticous president of the Drama-series "The West Wing" was the embodiement of what I hoped an American president could be.
"What'll be the next thing that challenges us...that makes us work harder and go farther? You know, when smallpox was eradicated, it was considered the single greatest humanitarian achievement of this century. Surely, we can do it again. As we did in the time when our eyes looked toward the heavens, and with outstretched fingers, we touched the face of God."
9. Thomas Wolfe
One of the pioneers of "New Journalism," Wolfe has taken the pulse of America and expressed it in a way no other author has. He's also an icon in himself; the white suits he almost always wears in public makes him a sartorial rolemodel as well. It took a keen observer like Wolfe to point out the extremeness and ludicry of the American upper class. He even had a go at modern architecture.
"Perhaps this is our strange and haunting paradox here in America - that we are fixed and certain only when we are in movement."
10. Richard Dawkins
Usually, scientists are most comfortable in obscurity and would rather be known through serious publication and a pat on the back from other scientists. Dawkins has bravely dared to challenge notions of religion to much hoollabulloo. He's helped bring science into the public sphere and is one of the most important intellectuals of our time, in my eyes.
"Many of us saw religion as harmless nonsense. Beliefs might lack all supporting evidence but, we thought, if people needed a crutch for consolation, where's the harm? September 11th changed all that."
Honorable mentions to the list:
- Edward Said
- Robert Capa
- Ernest Hemingway
- Paul Newman
